So. theres this person.
A month ago, I was a very, very bitter individual. Anyone who knew me can testify to that. Better yet, after the slow and depressing fall of a failed relationship, I was almost positive I would stay a single, independent individual for the rest of my life. I was ecstatic to be free from the ties of monogamy, I didn’t want it. I hated being tied down, I hated the idea of emotions, and quite frankly, I had lost the ability to feel them long, long ago.
Then she comes in.
Someone who was, oddly enough, undergoing the exact same transformation of thought.
Heres the irony (Oh, the irony):
We fall for each other. We fall fast, and we fall hard. Neither of us likes cheesiness, corniness, neither of us enjoy public displays of affection, and both of us find the concept of “love” cliche, and overrated. We aren’t spiritual individuals. We don’t really believe in fate, and we’re both atheists. We hate to admit it, but we’re cynics to the core.
And yet one night we stand at a bridge, holding hands, share our first kiss and get caught in the sprinklers of a public park. I all of a sudden couldn’t eat, sleep or think. I sincerely believed I was sick, in fact, I lost 12 pounds, but was I sick? No. I was gone. Now, for the first time, ever, I’m experiencing a form of happiness I never thought possible. It sucks to feel these things. Emotions like these, relative to the “L” word, are all tricky and tend to be messy, but I’ve come to understand that over such things, we have no control. I couldn’t un-fall if I tried. I may not believe in God, or in the republican party, hell I rarely believe in myself… but I believe in love.6 days ago
Ok. Let me just say that I do not consider myself a talented individual by any means. Some people, however, do, and I kind of, sort of, have a problem with that. The “talent” being discussed here is art (drawing, painting etc.). If you’re ok at something, great, by all means go and spread your wings on the canvas, blast it with your creative juices, whatever helps you sleep at night, but please- PLEASE shut up about it. I can’t stand people who overestimate their talent. YES, you’re ok. YES, you can shade, but sweetie you aren’t the next Picasso, and you aren’t about to gain world-wide recognition any time soon, that much I can say for certain.
On that note, I’m getting very tired of seeing people fail at the persuit of a dream. Its easy for me to say, I suppose, because my dream as a child was to be a majority stock holder (I have the crayon drawings to prove it), but so many people, who, mind you, overestimate their talent, spend their lives chasing a dream that they’ll never reach, instead of setting delusions aside, finding something they actually CAN do and succeed in, and proceed to ACTUALLY live. An expression my old mentor would use comes to mind:
"Wish in one hand and take a shit in the other- tell me which one fills up faster."6 days ago